to be GREAT

Be not afraid of GREATNESS..

some are born great..

some achieve greatness..

and some have greatness all upon them..

quote

Time passes - even when it seems

impossible. even when each tick of the

second aches like the pulse of blood behind

a bruise. it passes unevenly, in strange

lunches and dragging lulls. but pass it does -even for me-

i can't do this

you know something..
i wish i could tell you i HATE YOU for once in my life..
may be if i expressed my anger i wouldn't feel so tortured.. so missed up.
you know..
yesterday when you told me you didn't love me..
i wanted to scream
to hit you with something
i wanted to beat the hell out of you untill i lose all my power and die..
i wanted to die in your arms beating you.
untill now my tears are killing me.. i can't keep them inside
somehow they manged getting out of me..
it's as if my own tears can't stand me anymore.
i don't wanna be pathetic..
i don't wanna be the wounded one..
always lying down on the floor in despair..
why did i ever love you?
are you some sort of punishment for all the things i do wrong..
i remember i was asking you to never give me your phone number..
i needed to be cruel with my self
even when my soul was shouting
no please
just stay
i just had to move on you know
it's the 100 th time you broke my heart..
and i just.. can't live any more..
yesterday i couldn't breath.
i asked god for a car to run me over
i really wanna get run over..
i really need to die.
i need anything else besides the fact that you don't love me..
why was i cursed with this heart
i need to know
why?
why can't i just tell you that i hate you so much
that i resent you so much
i resent all the lies i had to go through in our relation ship
and in the same time
there is another person inside of you that i hold dear to my heart
it's the friend in you whom i've never found
i never found someone who could understand me that much..
may be that someone is the only person that spared your life
without this person i would've killed you
i just can't take it any more
how can i move on when the only person i can rest my head on his sholder is someone i'm not allowed to do that with.
i no longer want your lover
i hate the lover inside of you..
he represents all what i've ever hated in men.
i just can feel the danger bounces all over around him.
but still..
that other person i cherish so much that it makes me look like a fool when i don't get comfortable talking about what upset me so much with someone else beside you..
for that and for that only..
i can't live without you..
i'll b okay
i'm always okay
that's the only thing that i could manage lying on my self with..
even if in this moment all what i wanna do is scream
i'm not fucken k
how could i live with that
that in the same time i need the friend in you so much i resent that other person who crushed my heart ruthlessly one time after another.
should i talk to you you as a friend
talk to you about some guy i have a crush on..
we did that once
you said you cant be that person
what the hell was that crap
why can't you b that
we both know you never loved me
i mean i'm nothing compared to your little miss perfection.
then why on earth wouldn't you want to be my friend in what i need
what about my fucken needs!!

i don't know what i'm suppsed to do right now
but i know that i need someone inside of you
so, will you be here beside me?
cauze i can't do this alone you know

i kind of..

you know..
it's kind of hard for me to go away without taking some pieces of you with me..
i've tried to fill your place but it didn't work.
no one ever fills your place.
it's too big to be filled. there's always some space that is empty.
and the emptiness always takes the bigger half..
you know what?!..
i think i kind of..
miss you.
i don't miss just the lover inside of you..
i kind of miss the person..
the feelings..
the caring.
it's not that i'm not surrounded by much of care. ihave plenty of that.but it's just that with you..it was always different.
you were always -for me- something more beyond of that..
for me you were all that i have of love, friendship, understanding and above all of this.. you were my faith in god.
and untill this moment i can see god's meracles in you.
now you are my raw model.
i don't mind being alone , you know.
i just don't like to feel lonely.
and without you.. i'm always alone. even if the room's crowded with dozens of people i know.. they just fill a little gap from between two bigger spaces in my heart.."your love, and your friendship"
so do it what ever u want..
go away..
get as farther as you want.
just don't take all of me with you..
leave me something that i can live with.
leave me some of your soul.
cause i miss u like hell.
and it sucks.

what i hate about you..

i hate that i miss u so much..
i hate that i dream of u at night
i hate that when i try to catch ur shade in the dark it just fades away
like u were just from the begening..nothing but a shade.
i hate how much i love
i hate that u are not around
and above all of this i hate that i still can see u
when i close my eyes
even when my soul is no longer around