unbearable

I think I’m driving my self insane. I donot know what I want..i donot know whether I care or not!!
Sometimes I think I’m PERFECT.. worse than that, I even feel perfection.. I think “I’m COMPLETE.. and I don’t need anything to complete me more”.
This feeling it self –for me- is just unbearable.
I cannot bear the lie I’ve lied on my self to make me move on.
I just cannot bear to think that I’m the meaning of perection when my life is so pythatic that I lie to my self about needing someone beside me as my life was torn apart.
That I can take care of my self without needing anyone..
The pride it self kills me when it forms to me as a shade.. not visible to the naked eye.
And just like that.. witjout even someone to notice my own suffering of unseen loneliness that drives me to the edge of insanity..
I feel as if my heart stops beating
I feel like a lifeless body
As if my own soul had come to an end
An end with no prince charming to save me from the beast who wants to suck the life out of me..
Even if in the end, all that ruthless beast was just me.